Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Catching fish

Museum of Contemporary Art Kiasma is having an exhibition ARS 06 - Sense of the Real, with 40 artists/collectives from 24 countries. After seeing the exhibition I went back to review some of the art works that had stayed with me, this time with commentaries. Nifty. I have to say it by far was worth the ticket and a couple of hours. Too bad Inner Force, real time interactive computer animation from EEG brain wave, was out of order. Might have to go back just for that if they'll get it fixed.

Had a very expressive weekend. Which Lord of the Rings -character would you be? Even though I possess some human as well as elf-like characteristics, I can also strongly relate to Gollum. Despite the inner struggles, he's so freaking happy!

Thursday, March 23, 2006


Different circles of friends and acquaintances can create a situation, where you mostly do certain things with certain people, and where you comfortably slip into a fixed role, switching between them whenever necessary. My happiness has grown exponentially ever since I eased up on clinging to those self-created roles, and began to share a little of all of my identities in different social environments. This reminds me to keep sensitive to others' identities as well, as people usually are more what they seem.

This is not to say that you should be able to do everything, and communicate on every level, with each friend. Nope, as long as there's some common ground for exchange of ideas then that's enough.

Movie week continues: yesterday it was Friends with Money. I quite like Frances McDormand, there's something about her - had that something in Fargo as well. The plot in FwM though, well, can't even remember the plot, but some of the characters moved me.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006


Näin unikoosteen, jonka puolivälissä olin keikahtaa tuolilla rytäkällä muiden niskaan, ja joka päättyi kuskittoman bussin kyydissä olemiseen. Kuski vain keräsi kamppeensa ja siirtyi muina miehinä käytävälle seisoskelemaan, bussin kiitäessä eteenpäin. Etsin katseellani hätäjarrua (ei kai semmoisia busseissa olekaan?), jonka paikallistettuani huusin sen vieressä horjuvalle että kiskaisee siitä. Ei reagoinut. Joten itsehän sinne oli mentävä, bussin keikkuessa puolelta toiselle. Jarru oli seinässä kiinni oleva kahva, jota kiskoessa seinästä tuli narua, narua, ja lisää narua, ei mitään vaikutusta bussin nopeuteen. Jarrun vieressä seisova tyyppi sanoi jotain hätäistä, mistä en saanut selvää. Heräsin.

Jep, joka suuntaan muka pitäisi revetä eikä se ole ihan hyväksi pidemmän päälle (mopo karkaa käsistä). Uni ei kylläkään kuvannut nykytilannetta, vaan ennakoi tulevaa, tai siis hiukan ennakkoon varoitteli että pitää muistaa ottaa iisisti. Kiitti, otanpa sit.

Olisi muuten hauska kuulla, voittiko kukaan mua tuossa kuolema-testissä! Aikooko joku ruoja elää vanhemmaksi? Mää oon kilpailuhenkinen, lähen heti lenkille, syön rutosti vähemmän eineksiä ja teen tuplasti enemmän kunnon ruokaa, jos näin kävi. :-D Toisaalta, emmietie hotsittaisko täällä enää sitten hirmusti haahuilla, jos kaikki kivat tyypit ois jo mullan alla.


One person's luck, another one's disaster, or was it luck after all - can't always tell whether you're being very lucky or totally out of it. Go see Woody Allen's Match Point and you know what I mean.

Been having fun with bureaucracy. Bureau-crazy. What would happen if bureaucrats of the world would just decide to stay home one day? Chaos? Or nothing at all; it might even go unnoticed. No-one calls themselves a bureaucrat anyway, there's just the regulations and people doing their best to interpret them. I think I'm secretly a wannabe-bureaucrat, as I like doing things by the book.

A friend tipped off about an online death test in Helsingin Sanomat (unfortunately in Finnish only). Scroll down and click on Deadline on the right hand bar (comes with good music, so better do this at home with speakers on). It says my luck runs out around the age of 81. Not too bad, although could probably add some years by getting back to doing regular physical training. Or by smoking and drinking like there's no tomorrow; apparently that has worked for some.

Sunday, March 19, 2006


Went to the Amos Anderson Art Museum to see an exhibition of the work of Alphonse Mucha (1860-1939), a Czech artist of the art nouveau style. Posters of the actress Sarah Bernhardt (e.g. La Dame aux Camélias aka Camille (suom. Kamelianainen)), who was also a dancer, writer and a visual artist among many other things, made Mucha world-famous overnight. This picture is one of Mucha's lithographs, called Lorenzaccio. I especially liked the various series he had created of seasons, times of day, precious stones, arts, flowers; depicting them all through elegant female forms.

Been thinking about identities lately. It occurred to me that often by the time one has one's own current identity figured out, and starts projecting it outwards (by looks & appearance, opinions, interests, etc.), it is already outdated. At least for me inner processing takes an exhaustive long time and mostly I'm not highly aware that such processes are undergoing, or I can't point out exactly what is at the core of these processes. The conclusions the subconsciousness has come to then pop into the conciousness rather unexpectedly. Possibly people with more solid and constant identities only rarely come accross with this outdatedness matter, but I wouldn't have it otherwise either. There really is great thrill in questioning of identities and roles. I view that as a constructive, mature attitude towards living; you're not forever caged to express yourself via one identity only.

Friday, March 17, 2006


Sometimes you get what you ask for so easily that it surprises you - especially when you're prepared to get less and to have a loooong discussion/argument even for that little. Happened to me at work today.

Oh snow melt melt melt away. Remember what used to be the best thing about spring? -Jumping in puddles and making small pathways to direct the stream of water... Gotta do some of that this spring.

A friend is coming to town for tonight, which is very cool. Have a happy smashing weekend everyone!

Thursday, March 16, 2006


First thought when waking up: work. Last thought when going to sleep: work. Half of waking time spent in: work, with the lovely exception of weekends. My dear brother sure was right to warn about the treadmill I was stepping on ;-) Good thing I happen to like most of the work I do, so far.

I've noticed yet another curious paradox: I'm both a workaholic (gotta do it all!! gotta have it perfect!! gotta do more!!) and a Very Lazy Person. Somehow it's different doing things when someone tells you to do them (and your paycheck and future career prospects kinda depend on it too), then doing things because you tell yourself to. The former is easier. Really, it should be the other way around. What am I, a slave with no autonomous will?? But then again, it was my very autonomous decision to go after that particular job in the first place. I guess on a grander scale I do manage to pull myself in certain directions, even though it doesn't always show in details: like, am I ever going to have a fantastically tidy apartment? Doubtful.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Another soul vanished

I heard someone I knew had passed away. I hadn't gotten to know this person, and had only talked with him in a group, not privately. But he did cross my mind today, before hearing the news. It could be just me, but it does seem news like this are becoming more frequent with a quickening pace, with each passing year. Natural, since the older I get the more people I get to know, and the older we get, well, our bodies haven't evolved to keep themselves alive eternally.

Despite the fact you can never be sure how many heartbeats you have left, humans tend to make plans. Some of my new plans currently include becoming a photographer, and a drummer and/or guitarist. Say, within the next 3-5 years?

Tuesday, March 14, 2006


Saw Palindromes by Todd Solondz today. I rather liked the real feel of the people. Someone behind me whispered (That's disgusting) at the last scene, when an overweight boy was having sex, with sweat dripping from his face. Well how fresh of a look did you expect then, he was involved in a heavy physical activity, plus overweight, duh.

And yeah I do think we remain the same, regardless of how old we get, still stuck with the same habits and patterns. So gotta learn to enjoy it then.

What else --- oh yes, I'm at awe at how extremely different people can be, and yet each type so likable because of their own personal characteristics.

Start the start

Today the guru says: Days are coming to an end, so better start bringing that enthusiasm and hard-core positivity into ye lives. Don't die a miserable bastard, die a silly goof.

Felt calm, useful and chipper most of the day. There's nothing quite like sharing of essences and sparks of consciousness. If only over-criticalness (of ideas, people, the self, universe) could be overcome; oh well, got some time still to keep practising.